The funeral for my much loved aunty was held today.
It's been about two weeks since she passed away. In that time I didn't cry, but held it together for stupid reasons. I told myself that she was out of pain, in a better place, happier now.
And I thought I was fine.
My aunty had a rough few years at the end of her life. Poor sweet lady struggled with lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, breathing problems, osteo-arthritis... and always, ALWAYS with the sweetest smile on her face. There was a loving welcome whenever you would visit. And oh, she was so happy when I came back to the UK to live.. I'm glad that she knew I was back home, safe and close to family before she 'left' us.
My feelings made themselves truly obvious today though.
I was fine until we began the sad drive behind her hearse to the crematorium.
And then my bottom lip began to quiver.
By the time the curtains closed around my lovely aunt, silent tears were dropping.
But I'm a tough old thing, and managed to suck it all back together for the lunch gathering.
It was when I was finally at home in my own little flat that I really did dissolve into a pitiful, sniveling mess.
I know that my aunty knew I loved her. I know she loved me too.
And I am very thankful that I was born to her sister and that we were..ARE..part of the same family.